Free at last, free at last.....

I'm cured. I saw Dr. Lamon yesterday, and he said my CT scan came back clear, my CEA blood levels are normal. He does not recommend chemotherapy at this time, and I can go back and live my life the way it was before March.

While I was waiting for Dr. Lamon in the examining room, I was reading Lance Armstrong's book "It's Not About the Bike". Lance had just won the first Tour de France after having being successfully treated for testicular cancer. A reporter asked him what was going through his head as he crossed the finish line. Lance said: "I'm shocked, but I just want to say one thing,if you get a second chance in life for something, you have to do it all the way." That advice really hit home for me. Here out, I'm going to try to live a more purposeful life. I haven't figured out exactly how, but that's the plan.

This just might be my last post to this blog, but keep checking back, you never know. Thank you all for supporting me on this journey, the road my not have been that long, and it could have been infinitely worse, but I could not have done it without the support of you guys, my family and friends. I love you all, I really do.

Now I have to call the dean and tell her I'm coming back to school in the fall.

Tootles
Myra

Visit to the oncologist

Hi everyone.

I saw Dr. Lamon, the oncologist yesterday. He told me is looking for a reason to put me on chemo. I don't want it.
I have/had stage II colon cancer, which means there is no detectable cells in my lymph nodes, and he is 90% that it hasn't spread to other organs, I will be getting a CT scan to rule that out for sure. He also ordered a genetic marker test to see if I am genetically predisposed to CC. So it looks like I'm not out of the woods yet. He doesn't want a recurrance---neither do I. I will undergo chemo if he forces the issue. I guess better safe than sorry. I've read that CC chemo does not result in hair loss, which will be good because it would really freak my kids out. I'm just worried about how it's going to make me feel---and that nausea, oh my god. I went through this with my sister, and she was very nauseated after chemo. Well, I guess when you think about it, it's better than the alternative.

Love y'all
Myra

Koppel on Cancer

tivo this:

Forgiveness....

Hi everybody,

This post has been in the making (mainly in my head) since I was in the hospital. I've debated whether I should post it or not. But If you're reading it, I guess I decided to post it afterall.

Everybody, near and far, people I know well and near-strangers have moved me to tears becuase of the support they have given me during this very difficult time in my life. Well, almost everyone, with the exception of two members of my own family. I won't mention their names, or their latest dirty deeds, but most of you know who they are. And if you don't, it's not really that important, that's not really the point anyway.

I didn't expect these people to be supportive, but what I didn't expect were them to be mean. This isn't the first time this couple has gone out of their way to be mean---oh, I don't know why, jealousy, unhappy with their own lives, who knows. I've attempted to extend the olive branch several times, only to have the branch snatched out of my hand, and shoved up my you-know-what. Everytime I make it to church, the gospel is always about forgiveness. I have tried to forgive these people over the years, and I guess I've been more-or-less successful, but I'm really having trouble this time. This last stunt was so mean-spirited, so uncalled for, I was just shocked. It shocked a lot of my friends too. Wyatt has written them off completely.

How do you forgive people that are undeserving, and hateful?

When I was in the hospital, I looked at all the flowers, cards and outpouring of support, and made a promise to myself that I whould concentrate on the people that care about me, and ignore the people that wish to do me harm. It's hard though. I don't know what to do, because it still bothers me from time to time. I guess time heals all wounds.

Any advice?

A Snowy day in April

Today, white house spokesman, Tony Snow returned to work after undergoing exploratory surgery. Last month Snow suffered a recurrance of colon cancer. It has spread to his liver, he is scheduled to undergo chemo to knock it out.
Who knew that I, a life-long democrat and self-described liberal would have anything in common with a conservative member of Bush's circle. I guess we all are brothers (and sisters) under the skin afterall. I am praying for him and his family.

Read all about it here: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070430/ap_on_go_pr_wh/snow_cancer

Lance is right....

..It's not about the bike.

When I found out I had cancer, right before I went to the hospital, I dug out my cheery-yellow Livestrong wristband. Now, I will admit when I bought the wristband it was more for fashion than for cancer support. I was nervous about the surgery, and needed a good-luck charm of sorts, a reminder that I would get through it.

I haven't removed the wristband since I put it on the day before I went into the hospital. What was once a fashion accessory is now a reminder to fight the good fight everyday. It's hard to believe that I found inspiration in a $1.00 yellow bracelet, but I did. Sometimes when I need strength, I look down at my bracelet, and as cheesy as this sounds, I see Lance Armstrong on his bike, telling me to live strong. I will Lance, I will, for as long as I can.

Love y'all
Myra
PS: I LOVE reading your comments, please continue to post!

Beans don't burn on the grill.....

Hey everybody,

I know, I know, it's been awhile since I've posted, but I didn't have anything new or interesting to say, so I just opted out. I've been getting a lot of e-mails.......hang on Kimberly wants to hear James Brown's "I Feel Good" on itunes. My funky daughter ; ).
Anyway, I've been getting lots of e-mails about the next installment, so here it is. Although it's going to be kind of hard trying to think in between "so, good, so, good, I got yous" HAY!

Monday, I went to see Dr. Jacquet. Now, I told some of you about Dr. Jacquet, but for those of you in the dark, let me enlighten you. Dr J (as I like to call him) is a brilliant surgeon. I cannot say enough good things about his skills. However, he has a very interesting personality. Okay, to give you a picture, Dr. Jacquet looks like a taller version of George Jefferson, but dresses like Tim Meadows' Ladies Man character from SNL. He is always playing 70s soul music in his office. He sports the gold chain, and sometimes even silk (dacron?) shirts. I think style wise, this man peaked in the 70s, and stayed there!

Anyway, so there I am in his office, Wyatt is with me. He comments how Wyatt is always working, and asks me if it's a good thing. At first I thought the question was rhetorical, but he looked at me like he wanted an answer, so I said yeah, it was a good thing. He removed my steri-strips, and said I was healing fine. He asked if I was eating okay, and before I had the chance to answer he says: "I know you're eating fine, you've gained three pounds since the last time you were here".
OW! I was so not expecting that. Why is it that doctors love to tell you how fat you are?

My friend who is a size 4 was told that she was three pounds overweight at her last checkup. What is it with these doctors? They make you take your clothes off then they tell you you're fat.

I guess the fat comment shouldn't of bothered me, I am lucky to be alive, but it did. I guess it's back to weight watchers.

Meanwhile, until I hear from my oncologist, life has resumed almost normally, I'm back to shuttling the kids around from point A to point B, still losing my battle with the laundry, just normal stuff. I'm treating myself to a spa day at Glen Ivy this weekend, should be fun.

That's good enough for now. I love you all, I mean it
M
PS:
I am so glad that some of you have taken the initiative to go to the doctor. Now, for the rest of you, make that call,

Ask not what you can do for me....

.....But what you can do for yourselves....

Hi everyone. Many of you have asked me if there was something you can do for me.
There is. Go the doctor and get a check up. Even if you think nothing is wrong, if you haven't seen your doctor in awhile, then it's time to get reacquainted with your MD. Sometimes, we may have symptomss that might be kind of embarrassing. Believe me, it wasn't easy to call my doctor's office, and tell the nurse why I wanted to make an appointment. Being embarrassed, might just by you a one-way ticket to a place you're not ready to go to yet. So if you are due for a pap, a mammogram, or just a physical, make an appointment, and make it today. I love all you.

Myra

To the hospital and back home again

Hi everyone.

I'm back from the hospital, and happy to be home. It's taken me a while to post, because I didn't know if everyone wanted to hear the gory details, or would rather be spared. I guess I'll just hit the highlights

Monday:
I get to the hospital early in the morning. After I'm admitted, gowned and in my room, the nurse comes in with two one-liter bottles. The nurse explains that I have to spend the day on "bowel prep", so I have to drink both bottles of this clear liquid within the next couple of hours. I was scared because I knew it was going to be nasty. I noticed that one of the bottles had a big red sticker on it which read: "NOT FOR ORAL CONSUMPTION, USE RECTALLY ONLY".
So I say to my nurse, "Um, excuse me, but are you sure I'm supposed to drink this?"
She takes the bottle, puts on her glasses, and says, "oh, this one is for tomorrow, don't drink this one." She checked the other one, and read....1000ml, Mannitol, yes, yes, drink this one by noon. She takes the enema bottle out of the room, and I started drinking the mannitol, it tasted like Vitamin Water so it was fine. Still, I was kinda freaked out that I almost DRANK the enema, I decided I better keep a sharp eye on this nurse.
The doctor comes in and sees that my nurse is Sally, he says, oh great, you have Sally, she is the best nurse in the hospital, you won't have any problems. I didn't know what to say. I knew better to rat my nurse out so I just kept my mouth shut and my eyes open---when I wasn't sedated.

Lesson learned for Monday: Nurses are overworked and sometimes can make mistakes, ask them what they are giving you and what it's for. It may save you from drinking something you shouldn't.


Tuesday:

Time to go under the knife. I was scared, scared, scared when they came to wheel me down to pre-op. The anesthesiologist reminded me of a British spy with good teeth. He knew I was nervous, he was very nice to me. Eventually I was rolled into an OR. It was bigger than I thought. Tons of people rushing around prepping and counting sponges. I remember thinking, I can't believe they are going through all this trouble for me. I don’t remember anything after that until I woke up in Post-op. I don’t know how to explain post-op, but when I woke up, everything that I could move on body hurt. My belly hurt, my sides hurt, my eyelashes hurt. I felt like I had been hit by a semi. I wanted to cry but couldn’t because it hurt too much to cry. I also couldn’t move my legs, and that was very upsetting. I told the nurse I wanted to go back to sleep. I don’t remember what she said, but eventually I fell back asleep and when I awoke I was back in my room. I had a PCA (patient-controlled analgesic) which is a push-button device that dispenses medicine as needed. I spent the rest of the day pushing the button and passing out.

Get your fat ass out of that bed:
Somewhere along the line I lost a whole day. The nurse was telling me that I needed to get up and walk, I thought she was nuts, I was like, you can’t be serious, I just got out of surgery. She told me that I got out of surgery the day before and I needed to get out of bed and walk. So I did. With much difficulty. Wyatt was really terrific, he was with me the whole time. Helping me in and out of bed, fetching me ice, and just letting me sleep.

The blog entry that would never end:
Anyway to make a War and Peace-sized blog entry just a tad smaller, I will try to condense the next few turn of events……

Over the next few days I spent eating broth and waiting to pass gas. I never had anyone cheer at a bowel movement before but my nurse thought it was terrific when the blessed event finally arrived.

Dr. Jacquet decided that after I was able to do the three Ps (pee, pass gas, poop), then it’s time to go home. So here I am, at home recovering. Watching Cheaters, and finally seeing those movies deep deep within my Netflix queue. I finally saw Back to The Future and The Godfather. I think tomorrow I will watch the sequel.

I met the doctor who is going to be my oncologist. He reminds me of a very calm George Costanza. He seems very thorough. He thinks my cancer is at stage II, but won’t know for sure until more tests are preformed. I can’t tell you how happy I am, because this wasn’t the news I was expecting, but it was the news I wanted. Thanks everyone for your prayers.

The Good News: The tumor was successfully removed, along with part of my colon, The tumor had not penetrated the wall of the colon. Nineteen lymph nodes were examined for cancer and all nineteen came back negative. Yeah.

Coming up Next: Staples are coming out tomorrow.

Hip Hip Hurray!

Lots and Lots of good news to share today!!!!

The hospital called today to ask some pre-op questions. The nurse told me that Dr J was a great surgeon and I'm in good hands. The nurse's husband had CC surgery eight years ago, Dr. J performed the surgery and he is still doing great. The nurses at his office also sing praises about him and referred family members to him for abdominal surgical procedures, this made me feel a lot better about the operation.

Now the super news. My liquid diet was pushed to Sunday, so now I can eat pizza and cake at Kimberly's b-day!!!! I didn't know how I was going to be able to turn down Costco cake, now I don't have to!

WOO-HOO

Today was a good day!

LOVE Y'ALL
Myra

Depressed

Hi everyone,

As the date of the hospitalization nears, I find myself falling deeper into a state of depression. Kimberly's upcoming birthday provides a much needed distraction, but at the end of the day, I know that my stint at the hospital is getting closer.

Last Friday, Elizabeth Edwards announced her breast cancer recurrance. She seemed so courageous at the press conference. Her husband did a good job at holding it together, but I could tell he was worried. I wish them both luck in the future, and give a "right on" to Mrs. Edwards who is going to do what she wants to do, not what her cancer wants her to do. She is going to live the life she wants as long as she can. It is courageous, but scary too.

Today, I read that Tony Snow's (Bush's press secretary) colon cancer has returned. The prognosis is probably not good. It has metastized to his liver. Is cancer becoming more popular lately, or am I just more in-tuned with it?

It's days like this when I wonder, what IF I don't get through this? And even if I do win this first battle, how long before I have to fight a recurrance and if I do will I be successful the next time? I remember when my greatest wish was to win the lottery, then it was that my children would always be happy and healthy, now my greatest wish is to see my daughters grow up. I want nothing more than to throw them big over the top lavish weddings.

Having cancer really sucks, I wouldn't recommend it

Stay Healthy!
Myra

First visit to the surgeon

Hey everyone,

I would like to thank everybody for their e-mails and calls, power brunches, babysitting, prayers, etc. I can not tell you how much it has helped me. You guys may think that you haven't done much, but your support has meant the world to me.

Okay I finally saw Dr J, the surgeon yesterday. He seemed optimistic......

Surgery:

My surgery is scheduled for April 2 (Kim's birthday). I talked to him about open-incision vs. laproscopic surgery. He wants to perform an open-incision so he can examine my other organs for metastasis (spreading). The incision is going to be from my belly button to my pubic bone. I don't really care about scaring---I'm well-past my bikini days anyway (when I was 12). I should be in the hospital for 5-7 days. The doctor said the tumor wasn’t large, he thinks it’s an early stage, but can’t really say until he opens me up.

Not so terrific news: I have to begin a liquid diet two days prior to the surgery. I have to take a strong laxative the morning of the party. I might actually wait and take that when the party is over—can you imagine having an accident in front of God and everybody? I can’t have cake either : (

More not so terrific news: He said he’s worried about a recurrence because of my age. He just kept commenting about my age. He might even order a genetic panel to see if I have a colon cancer gene. He doesn’t think so because I don’t have any family history, but he did say that there is a link between breast and colon cancer, so I need to call about an updated mammogram, I’m due for one anyway.

What we still don’t know: If I have to have chemo, what stage the tumor is in.

A little good news: He said he wants to get me back to school. He was disappointed that I had to leave, but stressed the importance of returning.

Thanks y'all
M

New

Hi all,

Well, this is the blog I promised. I'm new at this blog business, so bear with me while I work out the kinks.
Today was a rough today, I had to take a leave of absence from school, and I sent out the mass e-mail letting everyone know what's going on. I'm still waiting to wake up from this nightmare

What we know so far:

5cm malignant tumor found on sigmid colon. Referral made to surgery.

Going to see surgeon on March 22.