Is it fair?

I can't believe I'm posting again after all this time, but today I am compelled to. Carla e-mailed me today. She told me that a co-worker of Janet's, who was diagnosed with CC the same time as I was passed away today. This poor man, was 52. I never knew him, but I feel the loss of his family. This man wasn't as "lucky" as I was. By the time he started to experience symptoms, the cancer had gone through his colon and spread to his liver. The doctors gave him two years. They were being generous. He barely made it to one. I know he underwent chemo and was ill, so I wonder how he spent the last year of his life. I just hope he wasn't sick and miserable the entire time.

Sometimes I feel like I cheated death this time around. Is it fair that I survived but this man, and others like him didn't? Some might argue that god spared me because I still had my children to raise. Maybe, but this man had a 20 year old son, and I know he will miss his dad.

I would like to reach out to the family, but I know I can offer them no comfort. They might even wonder, why did I survive and their husband/father did not? I do grieve for that family though. It's odd though. I never met them, wouldn't know who they were if I walked passed them on the street, but I grieve with them, even if they don't know it. It's better that way.